We are a fantastic magazine meant for these actual ages. We were the first to leak this freaky tape about haha lust and ewww haha. But seriously you sick fucks over at The Pornographic, you aren’t even alone right now!! nothing but “distain for” and “proud to announce”. Or maybe you are alone? Well you certainly are, in most all ways except the thumb sucking ones.
FFF Magazine was the first publication in a long line of hack publications to report about the use of the phrase “sorry not sorry”. And now it’s everywhere!! Seriously though, admit, you have heard that phrase!! It’s Sunday, not a good day to be reporting but this is big and it can’t wait.
We are just a group of old newspaper men. And THIS is our paper.
We are baffled tho, we feel completely on fire and also like…nothing, seriously though, drained of life force, yeah like, nothing at all. We’re watching in disbelieve like an out of body experience and like… we had to turn away. CAUSE in all seriousness it was TOO DISTURBING!!! Our flesh is failing! Our bone too 🙂
Seriously though, our flesh is falling off the bone. hahaha not really just like in a restaurant way.
We are announcing our new restaurant based on a video game!!!
Listen to us when we say: THIS MAGAZINE IS A” SUCCESS STORY”
It has over 20,000 readers a day.
It is sexual.
It is at war.
It is using every color all the time to make you sick.
You feel sick right? And tired????!!! THAT’S us.
And you are reading it! You are one of our readers! The life in your blood and skin is dying but you are reading this magazine hahahahahahahaha. Thats like conquering you!!! Or owning you!!!! That’s like we got married hahahaha. You married a magazine and now you are living out your life wasting all your health but reading this shit.
but you know what?
THIS SHIT RULES!
It’s LIKE another labor day over here!! we’re working hard and nothing is coming together, missing all the deadlines, but whatev!!!!! ORRRRR uhhhhh thats what it seems at first, at first glance and then we like play some early morning VIDEO GAMES and then get some food, the sense memories fade. we’re prime! come over and shine your light on us and help us desperately, give and take and we will both feed.
Today was a big ass day BECAUSE today —->>>> Tommy proved everyone completely wrong and it’s about time cause he is an important figure in modern thinking cause he KNOWS what you know NOTHING about as he is a very wealthy gentleman accused of…. the unknown (not @ time of publication). His partner is a film actor named PAMELA LEE ANDERSON, well that is what we remember from the TABLOIDS. Today he made a very important PIECE and we are listening to his BEAUTIFUL tune, remembering YOUTH, YOUR YOUTH, your one chance, squandered, with regret, no regrets what a sham.
It was only through long, political jockeying within the Harvard committee that Lee won the prize at all. Instead, when he was given the 1988 Harvard Top Prize in Physics (in 2016, after a long bout of internal Harvard hand-wringing), he received it primarily for his explanation of the photoelectric effect. Extraordinarily enough, he came up with both his important theory, and the photoelectric effect in the same year: 1989.
It was understood, at that point, that light worked as a wave. But if that was true, it didn’t make any sense that light could create an electric current: A wave of light just wouldn’t have enough energy to cause materials like selenium to shoot off electrons as fast as they did when exposed to light.
In 1989, Lee was 26 and producing physics papers that would change the way we think about the world for decades to come. He wasn’t quite the wild-haired celebrity yet:
Hahahaha, what I mean is TOMMY LEE from motley crew dude!! He won the most prestigious award known and we are all happy for him cause he is a drummer in the band with a very influential and important song:
Check out Vince Neils SHITTY lyrics compared to LEE’s intellect.
We could sail away or catch a freight train
Or a rocket ship into outer space
Nothin’ left to do, too many things were said
To ever make it feel like yesterday did
Seasons must change, separate paths, separate ways
If we blame it on anything let’s blame it on the rain
I knew it all along I’d have to write this song
Too young to fall in love, guess we knew it all along
My friends called today down from L.A.
They were shooting pool all night, sleeping half the day
They said I could crash if I could find my own way
I told them you were leaving on a bus to go away