Survival Skills

Angus wrote in via text message* with an urgent question. I’ve transcribed the exchange:

Angus: Dear baddaddvice: I’m at the American Museum of Natural History in NY which is closing very soon but I don’t ever want to leave. What do I do?

Angus: I’m running out of time here!!!!!!!!

baddaddvice: Ok I’m watching the trailer for night at the museum for tips!

 

baddaddvice: Befriend a kooky-looking old security guard

baddaddvice: Knock out another security guard and steal his clothes

baddaddvice: Get your hands on whatever weapons you can find before everything comes to life

baddaddvice: You good?

Angus: Done. Done. Done. This is going to be a wiiiiild ride!

baddaddvice: I think your best bet is a big battleaxe

baddaddvice: Practice your dinosaur-skeleton-fighting skills while you have the chance

Angus: I’m destuffing a bear and going inside. Will a bear holding a spear and an axe be a dead giveaway? Also these texts are costing me lots of money so please relay all further pieces of advice telepathically!

baddaddvice (sent telepathically): I think you are in good shape! But wait, what if the bear comes to life? Good luck!

 

*Text message advice is available to premium members only. For more information about premium membership, please email badd.addvice@gmail.com

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