Angus wrote in via text message* with an urgent question. I’ve transcribed the exchange:
Angus: Dear baddaddvice: I’m at the American Museum of Natural History in NY which is closing very soon but I don’t ever want to leave. What do I do?
Angus: I’m running out of time here!!!!!!!!
baddaddvice: Ok I’m watching the trailer for night at the museum for tips!
baddaddvice: Befriend a kooky-looking old security guard
baddaddvice: Knock out another security guard and steal his clothes
baddaddvice: Get your hands on whatever weapons you can find before everything comes to life
baddaddvice: You good?
Angus: Done. Done. Done. This is going to be a wiiiiild ride!
baddaddvice: I think your best bet is a big battleaxe
baddaddvice: Practice your dinosaur-skeleton-fighting skills while you have the chance
Angus: I’m destuffing a bear and going inside. Will a bear holding a spear and an axe be a dead giveaway? Also these texts are costing me lots of money so please relay all further pieces of advice telepathically!
baddaddvice (sent telepathically): I think you are in good shape! But wait, what if the bear comes to life? Good luck!
*Text message advice is available to premium members only. For more information about premium membership, please email firstname.lastname@example.org