What’s the buzz about?

Dear baddaddvice,

I got a haircut when I was back in Vancouver and it was fantastic. Unfortunately, I ended up with a shitty haircut (the haircut was fantastic because the woman cutting my hair pushed my head into her breasts a lot and they were really nice, big, soft breasts). So, tonight in camp I tried cutting my hair myself and I made something that was already bad, worse. There are no barbers here. What do I do!?!?!?!?!

To which I respond:

Buzz buzz buzz. Stop being a perv.