Archive | February, 2018

My God, Bless You

The Jungle Book, the need for a lucky find, the rat’s next in your behind mind. The polar warning, the pose of fervor and in your race to the top of the passionate mountainous region, you slip up, and knock unconscious and fade away haha.

This is virtually impossible, this is the most infected aspect of the discussion, and WE ARE NOT having this discussion. Discussion over. I have heard all I need to hear from the likes of you and your rotten fridge full.

It’s grotesque, no… sassy. No no, not the word… it’s… offensive, in fact wrong, that you would consider, even for an instant, in the face of the very thing that has kept you at bay, kept you away from him, all this time, wow I feel bad for you, and YET, I feel nothing, not even in my time of need.

You were in the process of emptying and at that moment a line in the sand was drawn and blood was, from a bag of hot rotten blood, poured into the moat AKA line in the sand but because of the heat and DRYNESS of the sand… immediately dried and was just DNA in lil rocks AKA sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand, aka lil rocks, aka sand.

Haha grosssss!!

Listen FFF is pleased to announce this is the first new article for the new writer: Passionate M Brace. She is an important author and full of important and meaningful things to say. I, for one, am SUPER happy to have her on staff, infecting the magazine with her words and ideas and hopefully this infection is gonna spread!!!

KICK ASS WRITING

hehe looks like it’s already spreading 🙂
Looks like FFF caught something, a super virus known as high quality journalism, we fell ill, like we are going to throw up and expose something horrifying, a gross injustice, a sick fuck, a sick move, a dick move, a sickly and near death creature that has lived in a cage its entire life. You call yourself a hero just before bed and your heoric nature is well documented but in the next issue of FFF, we will expose the results of the investigation and be warned, it is not a good feeling when the whole world is watching and you are not confident in your looks.

Your looks give you pause and you are horrified by your ugliness MEANWHILE no one even cares about you so it’s all good hahahahaha. GO TO THE DOCTOR FFF, get a cure for the sugar fantasy, its’ like, fantastic, aka chicken breast meat!

BI LINE
Brian AKA Rose

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GUEST writers!! Everyone listen, we’ve got extra writers in the office FOR ONE NIGHT!

5 puddings, I thought it was one thing but it became another.

Ingredients:

One birthday, 3 friends around the hard table, rose water, cream of ice (one gallon), lots and lots of sugar (to taste).

It was a close call after we extinguished our dead red steaks, that we would even make it to Brian’s house for the after party. Jen only turns 35 once and that means for big celebrations. As tired as we were digesting our animals, we shlogged our booted feet throw the fluffy snow, me with socks, Jen with none. Half way there she pulled up the leg of her pants and showed me her bare ankle. She remarked “actually I didnt even pull up the leg of my pants, there are actually just short. Too short. But Im not cold….” . “Thank God, I said.”

Got to Brians and he closelined us with a beautiful twine sign which we read out loud ” Jay Eee Enn” !!!!! soon the pudding was everywhere and no one was asking questions. We sat down and Brian started to creep us out a little as he insisted we drop a little rose water in each bowl. We were suspicious and after adding couple scoops coffee ice cream and a teeny bit of decaf coffee fresh from the new exspresso machine, we wanted to stop adding to the pudding. It looked fine thanks. We tested it with tongues as innocent as the morning dew and hell did it ever come through!! But in the end, we were guests of Barron Brian Rose and so took a drop of rose water and stirred it deep into the pudding. What started out tasty, quickly became world famous not only in our minds but in our mouths, our hearts and human kind.

Byline: KARA KEITH

 

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