Until, theres actually no more time for you to fix, do, apologize, forgive!
You have brutally FUCKED up, massively I know. Most of your choices, all of them, have led you, you find yourself, to/in a spot you hate resent and but you can’t seem to help but to blame haha them, oh so many brutal nast forces and creatures of AKA wrong doing, because, like let’s face it OKAY lady or man, blaming yourself was, still is as ever was, exhausting and quite confusing.
But read what I say here because it’s important for you specifically, it’s relevant, it’s ready and dire, time and it’s here because there’s only one time a day when the things you ordered or that were prepared for you arrive at your basic doorstep (mail basically).
Go collect them now, rip into them, they’re what you get cause now, count your packages, there are many!