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Posts published in “Crime Stats”

JONI: “Bad Boys Come On: A Trial Called For, VERDICT DELIVERED IN THE CASE”

It’s okay! It’s coming on Christmas, your place at the top is waiting for you, and guess what, we’re keeping the seat warmer on and wrote your name on the seat so the leather will feel warm against your pants.

None other than you, yourself, yes and you. We’re all here now, waiting baited in the court room. So… we’re asking this question: what have you prepared for court? What are your oral arguments truthfully, we want to know in all honesty.

What then, exactly, do you have proof of? What has happened over and over, observed, documented, and then created & left artifacts behind to peruse and investigate?

Do you have ignorance of the law, did you star in the passion play, a moment of passionate embrace, a crime of passion, a sensual moment of passion? Are you now bending under the burden of proof, about to snap in two, afraid that even if you mount the complex case, bear witness, give the court all everything you’ve got, give it your best shot, that it won’t be enough to overturn a conviction? That you’ll still be on pause, on hold, held, locked up, unsure, laking conviction?

Well as the last television producer to live and the beloved drama critic, final call back, wrote the words everyone knows now, when first your play was performed – “don’t worry, you are invisible always and forever to me” – take this note to heart, to bed, dream of this note and wake up singing this tune. Yes a verdict was delivered but listen, the sentence won’t be carried out, you’ll continue to be free.

You’re in no danger in the least, rest assured you’ve followed the rules and we’ve noticed and for that, you receive the utmost reward instead of a harsh sentence.

Come claim your reward, it’s time. No one deserves an award like this more than you.



Pound Puppy Round Up

You dogs all aboard. There’s a new dog catcher in town and they are deeply focused on capturing, training, putting down when necessary, picking up after, putting down, watching 2 suffer. Rebuilding from exploded concrete in order to basic need. Sustaining, learning from mistakes, doing his best, advancing in the eyes of superiors at his job.

Alexander Ropul Do is the catchers name and let me tell you my first impressions: they keep me up late at night, make me feel anxious & kind of miserable in the daytime, early morning just worried about the little guys by the tracks and docks.


Do is a rotten tyrant, a threat, a cocky gentleman, spends his time off at his home in Glastonbury, Tone – building cages out of precious mahogany, wrapping twigs with piano wire & ribbons, into too tight bundles, so he can start impressive hot romance fires anytime someone says: let’s have a fire!? Okay, not a problem.

Be aware tho, be a very ware of your surroundings puppies!!!! If you cherish a PP they are gonna get taken from you and placed in a house-made cage!

Love it now soft puppy, live it til you perish pound! POUND PUPPIES <3 <3 <3 There’s only one brand, and it’s POUND.

#SIGNEDBLOBBY

The Moon is showing bright and our boss is dead so yeah

So yeah, it’s not easy to go on after a DOCTOR like B Rose has perished in such a disgusting way, but really it feels like we have a new lease on life now, yeah there are 7 kids in our family and we wish to be heard by the masses.

We wish for attention and for everyone to hear us and see what we have. We are waiting for someone to actually listen to us and we’re sitting around together all the time like wishing people would just you know, get us.

But they don’t but we have this magazine and the doctor is not in now. The doctor is now dead and we are dealing how we can. #solidly #withstealth

Don’t let go. Dr. Rose didn’t and look at everything he became.

We miss you papa, daddy, doctor, lawyer, entrepreneur, old newspaper man.
You are in our hearts tho. And I think we are prolly in yours.

<3

#SIGNEDBLOBBY

5 Things everyone should do cause: It’s a special day in your life, and we’re here too to celebrate with you! Celebrate with us though, let’s get very busy!

1. Let yourself go? LET YOURSELF go! Let it all go and be so that when you’re ready to truly fully dissolve in the woods there’s like no ghost hanging around wondering “Where or who exactly should I begin to haunt now that the mortal coil is decomposing over there, visible to my ghost dead eyes?!”

2. Write yourself a song. No really, Duh like no one’s watching, no one is!

3. Listen to your heart and…. invest in release. The stethoscope is picking up transmissions from your previous self and you’re heading to jail punk ass!

4. Lawyer up, seriously though, and delete that, they are going to make your life more difficult but you will be protected and you will have a family again in the form of paid advocates!!

5. Ask her, do it! Ask her what you wanted to ask!!!

Oh wow nasty you are – TAPE

We are a fantastic magazine meant for these actual ages. We were the first to leak this freaky tape about haha lust and ewww haha. But seriously you sick fucks over at The Pornographic, you aren’t even alone right now!! nothing but “distain for” and “proud to announce”. Or maybe you are alone? Well you certainly are, in most all ways except the thumb sucking ones.

FFF Magazine was the first publication in a long line of hack publications to report about the use of the phrase “sorry not sorry”. And now it’s everywhere!! Seriously though, admit, you have heard that phrase!! It’s Sunday, not a good day to be reporting but this is big and it can’t wait.

We are just a group of old newspaper men. And THIS is our paper.

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Mötley Crüe Drummer Tommy Lee valedictorian of Harvard University, becomes the first the drummer to be fully awarded a trophy for high end thinking and knowing

Today was a big ass day BECAUSE today —->>>> Tommy proved everyone completely wrong and it’s about time cause he is an important figure in modern thinking cause he KNOWS what you know NOTHING about as he is a very wealthy gentleman accused of…. the unknown (not @ time of publication). His partner is a film actor named PAMELA LEE ANDERSON, well that is what we remember from the TABLOIDS. Today he made a very important PIECE and we are listening to his BEAUTIFUL tune, remembering YOUTH, YOUR YOUTH, your one chance, squandered, with regret, no regrets what a sham.

It was only through long, political jockeying within the Harvard committee that Lee won the prize at all. Instead, when he was given the 1988 Harvard Top Prize in Physics (in 2016, after a long bout of internal Harvard hand-wringing), he received it primarily for his explanation of the photoelectric effect. Extraordinarily enough, he came up with both his important theory, and the photoelectric effect in the same year: 1989.

It was understood, at that point, that light worked as a wave. But if that was true, it didn’t make any sense that light could create an electric current: A wave of light just wouldn’t have enough energy to cause materials like selenium to shoot off electrons as fast as they did when exposed to light.

In 1989, Lee was 26 and producing physics papers that would change the way we think about the world for decades to come. He wasn’t quite the wild-haired celebrity yet:

Hahahaha, what I mean is TOMMY LEE from motley crew dude!! He won the most prestigious award known and we are all happy for him cause he is a drummer in the band with a very influential and important song:

Check out Vince Neils SHITTY lyrics compared to LEE’s intellect.

We could sail away or catch a freight train
Or a rocket ship into outer space
Nothin’ left to do, too many things were said
To ever make it feel like yesterday did

Seasons must change, separate paths, separate ways
If we blame it on anything let’s blame it on the rain
I knew it all along I’d have to write this song
Too young to fall in love, guess we knew it all along

My friends called today down from L.A.
They were shooting pool all night, sleeping half the day
They said I could crash if I could find my own way
I told them you were leaving on a bus to go away

Congratulations Tommy!!!

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From FFF MAGAZINE STAFF

JOINT PARTY

999 Cresant Street
Richmond, Va
April 5, 2014

Joint PARTY for birthdays
Anne Lee Jones and Dr. Brian Rose (prev. Dr. Valentine)
Invite you to a PARTY of the century.

All DAY LONG and into the night, as long as you have time to come.

pool-hard-rock-hotel-casino-v303585-800

What’s The Function Of Fashion Magazine?

“This has saved relatively a few the woman’s time which they use to commit inside the attractiveness saloon for constitute and all.”

Because the fashion is synonymous using the female, the marketplace has long been flood using the female fashion magazine. The female fashion magazine marketplace was totally untapped and using the foray of fashion magazine on female a producer new wave of style transpired inside the culture also it has brought the see alter inside the style planet of lady and newspaper institution has also savor a producer new report of sale.

Fashion magazines often aim at providing a glimpse at what is currently trendy in the fashion industry. These trends are usually extremely expensive. Following fashion can allow the readers to imitate it with in their own budget. Certain elements of fashion trends can be captures for less money. Earlier females take place throughout it difficult to go in for residence developed attractiveness suggestions but now these periodicals have significantly aided female to create utilization of the homely attractiveness suggestions to enhance their attractiveness and that as well in the affordable rate. This has saved relatively a few the woman’s time which they use to commit inside the attractiveness saloon for constitute and all.

But what every one of these fashion magazines include which has created it these kinds of a grandeur accomplishment within the powerful preserve of most women world. it is about every thing linked to some woman. From attractiveness idea to seem attractive, to health and fitness idea that assists them to preserve their shape, to nicely being linked query which help a excellent nicely being for them for simply the most latest style within the market.

These magazines can be useful in many different ways. From make up and beauty hints, work out routines to relationship advise, all these can be found in most magazines. Being devoted to the entire person and not just what they are wearing is the basis of most of them. The advantage a woman has got through these magazines the opportunities available in the market regarding the fashion has been brought to the door steps of a woman. They have become more aware and fashion conscious by reading these magazines.

 

Unknown Actor from “All Bones”

I have had a couple arguments lately about this:
Who is the main guy in “Wall Bones” – a cult classic. Some thinks its Val Kilmer, someone even suggested Tom Cruise.
I don’t know who it is but he is sexy and a good actor. I love “Wall Bones!!” Have you seen it?

Lolly Donny Gets Busted out of Jail

It’s true everyone! Have you ever just wanted to get the f out of jail but you were going nowhere? Have you ever wanted to bust out and collect 40,000 Euros for being a dufus rex in tonton Park and Milford Gross was blocking your escape route. Have you waited and waited only to receive a crappy and bad diagnosis and THEN had to pay bunch loads of $$$ for the bad luck? Well Lolly Donny had had enough this week, I guess! He broke right out of jail and went to the MALL. HE WENT RIGHT TO THE MALL TO BUY FRESH FRUIT!! WTF. If I was locked in prison for 100 years and a half, I would not do anything but die there and if I was released I would not be able to find a job and would end up bad in JAIL. But what does Lolly think of all this? he’s like “I’m breakin out!!”

ITS NOT BAD OUT THERE


The incidence of crime nationwide decreased again, according to our just released Crime in the United States report. Overall, the estimated volume of violent crimes in 2010 dropped 6 percent compared to the 2009 figure, the fourth consecutive year it has declined. For the eighth consecutive year, the volume of property crimes went down as well—2.7 percent.

 

The report was compiled from data submitted to us by more than 18,000 city, county, university and college, state, tribal, and federal law enforcement agencies from around the nation. It contains information on the number of reported murders and non-negligent manslaughters, forcible rapes, robberies, aggravated assaults, burglaries, larceny-thefts, motor vehicle thefts, and arsons.

 

Violent crime offenses were down across the board—the largest decrease was robbery, down 10.0 percent. Property crime offenses went down as well—the largest decline, 7.4 percent, was for motor vehicle thefts.