Either way, you’re going to need an ice pick

For the Good of the Nation wrote:

Dear Baddaddvice,

What’s the best way to pull off lobotomizing a world leader? I have limited time and resources.


Image source: Polygon data are from BodyParts3D maintained by Life Science Databases(LSDB)

To which I respond:


This task is much more difficult to execute than a straightforward assassination, and I would first of all advise you to ask yourself whether, with your limited time and resources, that might be the way to go.

If you have your heart set on lobotomy, the method I recommend is the so-called “ice pick method” pioneered by Walter Freeman. He developed the procedure so that it could be performed by non-surgeon workers in asylums, without access to an operating room. This means that it is probably simple enough to do yourself, and can be done anywhere with little risk to the patient, other than the obvious brain chopping.

All you will need is an icepick and a small rubber mallet. A rock would probably do. Insert the icepick under the top eyelid, behind the eyesocket. Tap it with the mallet to get through the thin layer of bone, and sweep from side to side. Repeat on the other eye. Easy!

In terms of getting away with it, that’s really going to depend on your own skills, but I would say wear all your black skintight clothing and get this person in their sleep in the dead of night. I don’t think the security of world leaders is as good as it’s hyped up to be, in general.

The best part about this plan is that an icepick can be used for either an assassination or a lobotomy, which means you can put off deciding which one you’re going to carry out until the situation demands it. Good luck!

How Lobotomies Work, howstuffworks.com
Lobotomy – Walter Freeman, wikipedia.org

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