Category: Fun Facts of the Day

Brian Rose, FFF founder, important business entrepreneur and controversial gentleman, has died at the age of the big 4-0.

Posted on by blobby rose

It is with great sadness and woe that FFF Magazine 🙂 announces today, the death of our most glorious magnanimous CEO leader, Brian Dashel Allen Rose, son of D.A. Rose, assistant district attorney P.I.

Brian perished fully brutally and died Tuesday, December 4, 2018 at his home in Glastonbury, of a massive explosion and lust.

Rose rose to power in the early 2000s as an early investor and dedicated family guy.

In the last year he’s been in the limelight also famous uncontrollably uncomfortably facing his worst fears and nightmares as Char Ming, his beautiful pet well fed soft horse with a big ol horse butt, and honestly the horse love of his human being life, died in his arms on the outskirts of town earlier A not OK corral.

Rose grew up in Connecticut, the son of Assistant Attorney General D. A. Rose (born Dire Rose) and pilot mind bender Jessica Sodo Flewno.

Brian graduated from Harvard in 2006 at the top of his class, having studied investment law.

He became a billionaire at the age of  21 when he discovered a rare and quite flexible stone known as Lartz Miraz, used as the principal material in the construction of many of the bridges and tunnels used in our time today, ones you have been on at least once prolly.

Rose was the first CEO in the whole world to receive the medal of joy as part of the president Obama’s program “Endless Boundless Brigadiers “.

Rose’s last will is clear and it’s meaning cannot be misunderstood: “FFF Magazine is to become the most important magazine of all time and to cause such disruption in human history as to be so kick ass and fantastic, that no one won’t notice and that’s so important. My sons Blobby, Whip, and Erekt and my daughters Sloan, Mell, Gall, and Ghost will take over all my properties and killer business opportunities, of which FFF Magazine is my favorite and most profitable.”

We love you Brian, we love you so deeply it pains the FFF Magazine staff that you are now so very dead but also we take comfort in your words, wisdom, and hope you’re in a better far off place like heaven or hell forever enjoying glass and desserts with heated up frozen fruit, watching the tv shows you like and honestly Brian, like you often said “tada”!

You were a great little kid and child, a great teen, perfect 10, a great 20 something, a fantastic CEO and editor and owner, and a good dad and you loved Char Ming!!! It’s okay to go Brian cause honestly? We love you and always will!

XOXO <3
You son and best friend, Blobby Rose.

It’s Never Too Late

Posted on by brian rose

Until, theres actually no more time for you to fix, do, apologize, forgive!

You have brutally FUCKED up, massively I know. Most of your choices, all of them, have led you, you find yourself, to/in a spot you hate resent and but you can’t seem to help but to blame haha them, oh so many brutal nast forces and creatures of AKA wrong doing, because, like let’s face it OKAY lady or man, blaming yourself was, still is as ever was, exhausting and quite confusing.

But read what I say here because it’s important for you specifically, it’s relevant, it’s ready and dire, time and it’s here because there’s only one time a day when the things you ordered or that were prepared for you arrive at your basic doorstep (mail basically).

Go collect them now, rip into them, they’re what you get cause now, count your packages, there are many!

GUEST writers!! Everyone listen, we’ve got extra writers in the office FOR ONE NIGHT!

Posted on by kara

5 puddings, I thought it was one thing but it became another.

Ingredients:

One birthday, 3 friends around the hard table, rose water, cream of ice (one gallon), lots and lots of sugar (to taste).

It was a close call after we extinguished our dead red steaks, that we would even make it to Brian’s house for the after party. Jen only turns 35 once and that means for big celebrations. As tired as we were digesting our animals, we shlogged our booted feet throw the fluffy snow, me with socks, Jen with none. Half way there she pulled up the leg of her pants and showed me her bare ankle. She remarked “actually I didnt even pull up the leg of my pants, there are actually just short. Too short. But Im not cold….” . “Thank God, I said.”

Got to Brians and he closelined us with a beautiful twine sign which we read out loud ” Jay Eee Enn” !!!!! soon the pudding was everywhere and no one was asking questions. We sat down and Brian started to creep us out a little as he insisted we drop a little rose water in each bowl. We were suspicious and after adding couple scoops coffee ice cream and a teeny bit of decaf coffee fresh from the new exspresso machine, we wanted to stop adding to the pudding. It looked fine thanks. We tested it with tongues as innocent as the morning dew and hell did it ever come through!! But in the end, we were guests of Barron Brian Rose and so took a drop of rose water and stirred it deep into the pudding. What started out tasty, quickly became world famous not only in our minds but in our mouths, our hearts and human kind.

Byline: KARA KEITH

 

Your Meal Has Been Prepared and It’s Time 2 Dine!

Posted on by brian rose

“I can’t be near you, the light just radiates.”

When you perish, the moment all goes dark blank, and blood covered angels float in to sing sweet lullaby in your deaf ears as blood gushes out of your eyes slo mo and mouth dries up and your heart pounds then explodes a lil and everyone standing in the room, that cared for you, liked you a little, realizes you’re disappearing and they’re not but that they’ll continue in the conscious material world but you’ll not be there, that’s the moment this article is about!!

It’s insane, no wild, just absurd I suppose, to imagine that the angels will sing anything other than the song Malibu, NO NOT THAT ONE! hahahaha, alright alright, FOR YOU I’ll paste both and you can compare on a as needed basis.

This author for one plans to be there for that glorious moment and to never leave!! You glorious and nasty important waste of space!

BRIAN

Hard to believe you live like that

Posted on by brian rose

We are baffled tho, we feel completely on fire and also like…nothing, seriously though, drained of life force, yeah like, nothing at all. We’re watching in disbelieve like an out of body experience and like… we had to turn away. CAUSE in all seriousness it was TOO DISTURBING!!! Our flesh is failing! Our bone too 🙂

Seriously though, our flesh is falling off the bone. hahaha not really just like in a restaurant way.

We are announcing our new restaurant based on a video game!!!

Listen to us when we say: THIS MAGAZINE IS A” SUCCESS STORY”
It’S DIGITAL.
It has over 20,000 readers a day.
It is sexual.
It is at war.
It is using every color all the time to make you sick.
You feel sick right? And tired????!!! THAT’S us.

And you are reading it! You are one of our readers! The life in your blood and skin is dying but you are reading this magazine hahahahahahahaha. Thats like conquering you!!! Or owning you!!!! That’s like we got married hahahaha. You married a magazine and now you are living out your life wasting all your health but reading this shit.

but you know what?
THIS SHIT RULES!

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It’s LIKE another labor day over here!! we’re working hard and nothing is coming together, missing all the deadlines, but whatev!!!!! ORRRRR uhhhhh thats what it seems at first, at first glance and then we like play some early morning VIDEO GAMES and then get some food, the sense memories fade. we’re prime! come over and shine your light on us and help us desperately, give and take and we will both feed.

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Mötley Crüe Drummer Tommy Lee valedictorian of Harvard University, becomes the first the drummer to be fully awarded a trophy for high end thinking and knowing

Posted on by brian rose

Today was a big ass day BECAUSE today —->>>> Tommy proved everyone completely wrong and it’s about time cause he is an important figure in modern thinking cause he KNOWS what you know NOTHING about as he is a very wealthy gentleman accused of…. the unknown (not @ time of publication). His partner is a film actor named PAMELA LEE ANDERSON, well that is what we remember from the TABLOIDS. Today he made a very important PIECE and we are listening to his BEAUTIFUL tune, remembering YOUTH, YOUR YOUTH, your one chance, squandered, with regret, no regrets what a sham.

It was only through long, political jockeying within the Harvard committee that Lee won the prize at all. Instead, when he was given the 1988 Harvard Top Prize in Physics (in 2016, after a long bout of internal Harvard hand-wringing), he received it primarily for his explanation of the photoelectric effect. Extraordinarily enough, he came up with both his important theory, and the photoelectric effect in the same year: 1989.

It was understood, at that point, that light worked as a wave. But if that was true, it didn’t make any sense that light could create an electric current: A wave of light just wouldn’t have enough energy to cause materials like selenium to shoot off electrons as fast as they did when exposed to light.

In 1989, Lee was 26 and producing physics papers that would change the way we think about the world for decades to come. He wasn’t quite the wild-haired celebrity yet:

Hahahaha, what I mean is TOMMY LEE from motley crew dude!! He won the most prestigious award known and we are all happy for him cause he is a drummer in the band with a very influential and important song:

Check out Vince Neils SHITTY lyrics compared to LEE’s intellect.

We could sail away or catch a freight train
Or a rocket ship into outer space
Nothin’ left to do, too many things were said
To ever make it feel like yesterday did

Seasons must change, separate paths, separate ways
If we blame it on anything let’s blame it on the rain
I knew it all along I’d have to write this song
Too young to fall in love, guess we knew it all along

My friends called today down from L.A.
They were shooting pool all night, sleeping half the day
They said I could crash if I could find my own way
I told them you were leaving on a bus to go away

Congratulations Tommy!!!

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From FFF MAGAZINE STAFF

Do you want to have some? How about some…

Posted on by brian rose

…MORE!!!!!!!!!!!?

Well most people feel that way, just like you do.
Most people feel so deeply the desire that they can barely contain what they feel, they spread it out all day long and sit and speak with tongue blood in the back of their throats, but words do come through.

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And neither the fuck can you… we mean, you can’t contain your excitement and lustful feeling of NEED. We’ve been watching the numbers. And we have our fingers on the pulses. Your NEED is nasty and natural and you go on and on needing until the last thing you say. It’s about right, no wait……..

…

….

…..

it’s PERFECT!!!!!

Need on, remain in these states, its all we can guarantee, this NEW magazine, to be in store for you, for all your time. It’s out of a respect & actual real love for our readers that we even come to say this stuff.

So in the end, it’s crystal clear as can be… we all need to take a moment and concentrate as one hive mind, on a unified vision of one single dream.

 

It’s a Happy Brand New Year!!! But YOU, How ready are you for your demise & your then Death? How is this day gonna have gone really, when you lay your head down some place to sleep tonight?

Posted on by brian rose

Trust us, You are not at all ready! A new study from the Minnesota School says: you’re almost certainly still holding on with a grasp and hoping hard for the deepest turn of the screw, you’re feeling pretty positive and still hopeful these days, and this study concludes: we’ve noticed!!

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But the questions do remain: What do you have planned really? What is today looking like now, or better yet… what is the WHOLE LIFE gonna be (realistically), how have you been living (last few years)? What are your 7 habits? Where have you been even sleeping fucker and what do you even dream about during that time, or are you even dreaming??!?? Or are you having only nightmares?!!!?!

Are your nightmares about a disgusting face or an erotic event in which YOU take part? Gross. Are they now about being held tight or holding someone loosely? About loss, feeling so very lost, or is it TOO MUCH GAIN this time? Stop dreaming NOW, wake up though, cause listen we all know there is absolutely a crisis on our hands, yeah you know we’re living a life sized NIGHTMARE, right??!!

Have you ever noticed stuff about average guys though? Average fuck faces? Have you ever wanted MORE than boring ass stuff you saw? Have you ever even taken a moment to check on something? Like really check it???Go ahead, check on it now, NOW!

Contact us and tell us what you found when you checked!!